I'm not sure what I expected at the end. I guess I always hoped she would prance off to bed one evening and simply not wake up. She had already suffered so much, why add more at the end of life. Of course, that isn't really how it typically works. Instead, she wobbled more, got more infections, had blood work, meds for this, more blood work, meds for that. You know it's bad when the vet calls you with the blood work results and all you hear are a blur of bad things. We were washing the rugs because she was peeing in the house. Until one day, all the meds came back out of her and she lost interest in food. Our little, highly food motivated girl lost interest in food. Liver and kidneys were just not cooperating any more. We offered everything we could think of including hot dogs (typically her all time favorite), home cooked chicken and rice (no thanks), peanut butter (some) and every treat in the house, even the tiny cat's gravy packets. So we knew it was time to say goodbye and we monitored how things were going. We were hopeful and we watched, but after a couple days we knew it was time. So, we took her in on a day that the she would be surrounded by people who understood her. In her final moments Celeste got to say goodbye too. I knew that Celeste and Dr. Hatch would not let her suffer. Even during a pandemic they allowed us to be with her in the room and I am forever grateful. I am heartbroken and teary eyed, but I am also proud that we got this special little dog to the finish line without harming herself or going missing. I always feared that I would lose her and be wondering if she was suffering. She is not suffering. She went surrounded by humans that loved her, on her own blanket, and before it was an emergency situation that would have caused her fear. She was a dog that not everyone could understand or liked. She destroyed our house, altered our lives forever, made it nearly impossible for us to come and go as we pleased, and was high maintenance in our home for nearly 10 years. Knowing all of that, I would do it all again for her. She was the sweetest soul ever and I loved her.
|